biblical worldviewing

Sometimes, I write a really thorough letter to someone telling them a lot of things going on in my life right now, and see no reason why I should not just reproduce the letter here on the blog to inform everyone of the same situations. It’s much easier than writing a whole entry pretty much saying the same thing as the letter. And there’s nothing real personal in here that I wouldn’t discuss with anyone.

Dad,

As you know, Sarah and I have been in communication with the National Guard about ways to supplement our income. At first, I was only interested in a trade-based job in the Guard and the benefits and sign on bonuses that would come with that, but then my recruiter, Sgt. Hall, suggested the chaplaincy. I have been in touch with Lt. Walker, National Guard chaplain, and it seems like it would be a real blessing to us.

First of all, as soon as my paperwork is done and I enroll in a seminary (possibly as soon as next month), I would be commissioned as a 2nd Lt. This was a surprise to me, because I thought I would not be commissioned until after graduation from seminary. I would also begin going to drill 1 weekend every month and 2 weeks during the summer and it would begin a 6-year term of service. The Guard would entirely pay for seminary (I think I would go to Southeastern for the first year or two so we don’t have to move) and I would be required to take a full-time course load (12 hours of classes plus at least another 12 hours studying a week on average), plus we would receive money from the Montgomery G.I. bill and something they call “The Kicker” totaling roughly $400-$500 a month, and that’s on top of the ordinary monthly drill pay of $300-$400. It would be like going to seminary full time and being paid $800-$900 a month. Upon graduation from seminary, I would receive a $10,000 bonus and get my Cross, becoming a full chaplain. During seminary, chaplains are non-deployable and they are also non-deployable for 3 years after graduation, which means I would never be deployed. After my 6 years, I go into 2 years of IRR (Inactive Reserve Resources or something like that) where I’m on call and report monthly by phone and be ready to be called in for different things. There are a number of other benefits, including affordable life insurance and other perks that would assist our family.

Of course we could not pay our bills with this income alone, and I don’t want Sarah to work now. We figured out that it is barely possible to pay our bills if I work as a substitute teacher daily and take some shifts at the restaurant, but this is not a permanent solution by any means. Lt. Walker suggested I look into teaching assistance in the public school system as a good job to go with seminary, and so I went to the Wake County schools website and found there are many openings for teacher’s assistants and I more than meet the requirements. In fact, I think I could be at a higher pay-grade than the minimum (for someone with an associates degree and no experience) and make anywhere from $22 to $25k for the regular, 9 month school year–and even more for working year round. This, along with the National Guard money, would easily pay our bills and even let us add to our savings. Most of these openings are at elementary schools, which I think would be fun and a good job with a good schedule for someone also in seminary. I’ve already sent my letter of interest, along with my resume and letter of recommendation, to 4 schools, all within 15 minutes of our new apartment (one of them is Douglas Elementary, where the Sarah’s mom and her brothers and sister went).

Something that is troubling me a little bit is the fact that Lt. Walker told me that, from day one of commission and seminary, I would be considered a chaplain candidate, assigned to a unit, introduced as “chaplain”, and performing many of the duties of a chaplain, including assisting with services and meetings. Of course I would not be comfortable with preaching or conducting services since I am not ordained. Frankly, sometimes I feel it is a joke that I could ever be ordained by the Orthodox Presbyterian Church, because it is such a good, rigorous church and I don’t think of myself as a great, mighty man of faith. All I know is that I understand what true blessing is and I want to seek it at all costs, as well as incite others to do the same. Now I’m not exactly sure what the Army wants in terms of church affiliation, but I need to be endorsed by the church to qualify for the program. I plan on meeting with my Pastor, Doug Withington, to find out if the session could approve me to begin this work or not. I feel this approval from the church is something that will really help me determine the Lord’s will in this matter.

Mom told me you were worried about me joining the National Guard, but now that I am looking into the chaplaincy, I am so much more at peace with it, and it seems like such a great thing. What better way could there be to go to seminary? I hope that knowing all this makes you feel better about it too. I would appreciate any of your thoughts.

Love,
Blake

PS - We had an ultrasound last Wednesday but your grand-baby would not tell us if it is a boy or a girl! This was our last scheduled ultrasound before the delivery, so now it is going to have to be surprise, because it only gets harder and harder to see what the baby is the later you wait, because it grows bigger and is more cramped inside there. Sarah was really sad that we could not find out, and started crying on the exam table (but only for a minute). She wanted to buy either blue or pink baby clothes, pick out a name, chose colors for the nursery, etc., but most of all she doesn’t like calling the baby an “it” for the next 3 months. Everything else with the baby and Sarah is great and we have set up appointments at Human Services and they have assigned us to deliver at WakeMed, and all of this is free or close to it, so even if it is not the best in healthcare, it is sufficient and makes us feel less like neglectful parents.

Well I’m certainly growing up fast–and Sarah even faster. Yes, it is putting a bit of a stress on us, and that is a real shame because we both know that God is blessing us here and instead of thankfulness, we are anxious. If I could get a full time job with benefits would make this easier, though Lord. The search goes on and nothing has been promising. I’ve gone from substitute teaching to working at a restaurant and have been surprised to see that I am actually making less than I did as a substitute because I don’t get many shifts, and when I do get shifts I have to work harder as a server than I ever did as a substitute. Well it’s hard to compare the jobs, because they both obviously come with their stress. When I was a sub, there were some days when I would be constantly up and at the verge of nervous breakdown dealing with unruly kids–and some days where I would sit back at a desk and just give the kids their assignment and they would do it while I sat back and read something. As a server, I enjoy working with the other servers and joking with them in the back, and I enjoy a lot of people at my tables and the excitement of trying to earn that fat tip–on the other hand, there are those rush times, spilled glasses, and demanding tables that create this sinking feeling in my gut and make me want to go home, and I usually have to stay an hour after my shift doing “side-work” for the restaurant like cleaning and rolling napkins.

By the way, Sarah is a beautiful beautiful pregnant woman. Our marriage is holding up pretty well considering our youth, the baby on the way, and our financial uncertainty. Pray for us.

The time is 11:50 pm and I just now got back to the house I live in after leaving it this morning at 6:45 am. Tuesdays, as I wrote before, are the longest day of the week–the day I drive to Charlotte and sit under 9 hours of lecture at seminary. I am exhausted, mentally over-stimulated, and greatly blessed.

As I think over this time of my life, I cannot help but feel thankful. The Lord did not have to bless me with work and employment in the form of substitute teaching, which has turned out to be a very satisfying and interesting job, but He provides. The Lord did not have to bless me with my gorgeous fiancee Sarah, which, after the longest day, is the best refreshment to see her, talk to, and pray with–even for just a 30 minute stop on my way home tonight, but He provides. The Lord did not have to bless me with precious opportunities to learn of Him and His Word, but He lets me be in seminary. And the Lord does not have to put me through trials–He could actually give me what my flesh wants and leave me to grow numb to Him through prosperity, comfort and health. On the contrary, the Lord lovingly reproves me through trials that make me to lean upon His grace all the more.

I feel God’s blessing through so many of the delightful things He gives, but sometimes I feel His hand upon me all the more through trials. Right now I can only say I am faced with an exceptionally large trial–but already I have seen the goodness of the Lord in putting me through this.

I hope to write more about substituting soon! There’s so much to say about that–I could devote a whole blog to it (or even write a book after a few more months/years of doing it). Call it something like “Sub-stance”. I don’t know…

Last night I went to a really excellent Bible study put on by Dr. Roger Wiles. It was on the Glory of God, or the 5th Sola. During the middle of the teaching, my cellphone went off in my pocket and I was of course really embarrassed and apologetic–afterall, there were less than 12 people there. I pulled out my phone to put it on vibrato and saw that the call was coming from a Charlotte area code (704). I didn’t make the connection, but the fact is that as of yesterday, my last reference arrived at RTS Charlotte. The Bible study went on and I had another discussion with my pastor afterwards about the validity of a person going to seminary on their own accord without being officially sent out by a church’s elders. I told him I thought very highly of his perspective but I had trouble making sense of it myself. We talked for a long time and he explained the problems posed by a seminary student preaching in a homiletics class who had never been sent by a church to be there. I told him it was never my desire to be an island of a minister or missionary, and how I was originally thinking of going to seminary for a master’s. Actually, Sarah’s father (who is an elder in the same denomination, different church) was the one who recommended going for the M.Div so I could later be approved by the church and sent. It was a difficult conversation, but I thank the Lord it was free from any pettiness and sincerely spoken in love. My pastor consented it was not wrong to go to seminary at your own desire and it was a godly thing to want–he just feels a more God-honoring decision would be to do nothing now and wait until I am sent.

After further discussions with Sarah’s dad, it seems like the official stance of the Orthodox Presbyterian church is that the session does not exist to send some young men to seminary and bar others, but to establish a partnership and put under care and examination any young men who express desire to enter into ministry. My case, he says, may be considered special in the way I am not a member now but seeking membership while starting seminary at the same time. If I had been a member of the church a year before all this, it might be a different story–or it could be I would be sent to seminary now anyway with the church’s blessing. I fully respect my pastor’s perspective, but at the same time, I believe the desire to enter seminary and graduate as soon as possible and taking my new wife into ministry or the mission field is a calling implanted by the Lord.

By the way, the phone call was from the dean of admissions at RTS. I have been accepted and will start classes on February 6th!